First Trimester Blues
Let me just say, I am so happy to be sharing on here. It feels like such solace to be able to just let out and share what I've been experiencing this last 3 months. I'm pregnant! Yes, what a big feat it feels like and then to make it through the first trimester. And to finally share it with everyone! I was mostly conservative in my sharing as I've heard of women miscarrying and just wanted to be sure that wasn't an option. I am 13 weeks now and in the safe zone, I hear that I am through the worst of it. I am keeping that in the background of my mind though right now I still feel far from the finish line.
It has been such a go for me honestly. Since we officially found out I was pregnant 3 months ago, it was like, oh boy, I can't stand that smell. I mean I knew a bit about morning sickness but nothing could have prepared me for this. Before conceiving I felt like the picture of health and my diet was so clean that I figured I would definitely avoid any harsh symptoms. It has been rough guys. Let me tell you. The nausea has been so intense, I've been resting alot. Especially the first 2 months. Some days, I've been literally been afraid to step outside my door because the smell of things, especially pollution and warm air, feels unbearable.
It hasn't all been bad. Of course there have been so many beautiful moment in the in between when things are quiet and still and I can focus on this little bub inside me. What a beautiful thought. But I must admit I've been a lot of time in the mode of, I just gotta get through this. Survival!
For the past month I've felt like I need/want a bathtub sooo badly. If only I could continuously soak my body in the comforts of some warm, essential oiled water for hours at a time. Ahhh.
I tell Janaka sometimes, I just really want to live in a tropical waterfall. Can I just say that I am in need of a permanent bathtub in my life (at least for the next 6 months) and some good clean space and air. Can you pray with me that I find this. I know it's coming.
But really, I want to look out my window and see green for miles. I want to walk barefoot and breathe in the fresh air. I know it will come. But the complicated matter is Papa Joh's current job situation. Janaka has work he loves and thrives in here in Manila and has built himself a good career over the past 6 years. It's not like he's opposed to leave but some big opportunities are presenting themselves to him here in the New Year. Financial security? Who knows.
Papa Jo and I are a family and at the same time, I have a big endeavor I'm undergoing as well and I want what I want. To be near/in/ surrounded by nature. This is a 100% necessity for this being.
Did I mention that I have been almost full time vegan since being pregnant. This baby just does not like meat or anything less than the purest of foods. And I cannot stand onions or garlic. Yuck!
Please hold me in a natural/peaceful vision with any support you can offer along the way, such as checking in sporadically would be a huge blessing and a welcome. I'm alone a lot of the time (with this little one within me of course) so when I get to communicate and connect with you ladies it is such a blessing.
So our lease here in Makati is up in approx 21 days and then we are lease-less, open to all possibilities. And countries actually. Our plan is to end up in Canada but Joh can't take leave until March. Me, I feel by Jan. I'm not worried. For some reason I feel so much trust and surrender
through this whole process.
How could God not take care of me when I am carrying his child!
OMG, that is so beautiful. I teared up.
I am calling the next transition point to be beautiful and natural, nurturing to this body, the one inside me, and mind/soul.
Love you all,
Om, Amen.
It has been such a go for me honestly. Since we officially found out I was pregnant 3 months ago, it was like, oh boy, I can't stand that smell. I mean I knew a bit about morning sickness but nothing could have prepared me for this. Before conceiving I felt like the picture of health and my diet was so clean that I figured I would definitely avoid any harsh symptoms. It has been rough guys. Let me tell you. The nausea has been so intense, I've been resting alot. Especially the first 2 months. Some days, I've been literally been afraid to step outside my door because the smell of things, especially pollution and warm air, feels unbearable.
It hasn't all been bad. Of course there have been so many beautiful moment in the in between when things are quiet and still and I can focus on this little bub inside me. What a beautiful thought. But I must admit I've been a lot of time in the mode of, I just gotta get through this. Survival!
For the past month I've felt like I need/want a bathtub sooo badly. If only I could continuously soak my body in the comforts of some warm, essential oiled water for hours at a time. Ahhh.
I tell Janaka sometimes, I just really want to live in a tropical waterfall. Can I just say that I am in need of a permanent bathtub in my life (at least for the next 6 months) and some good clean space and air. Can you pray with me that I find this. I know it's coming.
But really, I want to look out my window and see green for miles. I want to walk barefoot and breathe in the fresh air. I know it will come. But the complicated matter is Papa Joh's current job situation. Janaka has work he loves and thrives in here in Manila and has built himself a good career over the past 6 years. It's not like he's opposed to leave but some big opportunities are presenting themselves to him here in the New Year. Financial security? Who knows.
Papa Jo and I are a family and at the same time, I have a big endeavor I'm undergoing as well and I want what I want. To be near/in/ surrounded by nature. This is a 100% necessity for this being.
Did I mention that I have been almost full time vegan since being pregnant. This baby just does not like meat or anything less than the purest of foods. And I cannot stand onions or garlic. Yuck!
Please hold me in a natural/peaceful vision with any support you can offer along the way, such as checking in sporadically would be a huge blessing and a welcome. I'm alone a lot of the time (with this little one within me of course) so when I get to communicate and connect with you ladies it is such a blessing.
So our lease here in Makati is up in approx 21 days and then we are lease-less, open to all possibilities. And countries actually. Our plan is to end up in Canada but Joh can't take leave until March. Me, I feel by Jan. I'm not worried. For some reason I feel so much trust and surrender
through this whole process.
How could God not take care of me when I am carrying his child!
OMG, that is so beautiful. I teared up.
I am calling the next transition point to be beautiful and natural, nurturing to this body, the one inside me, and mind/soul.
Love you all,
Om, Amen.
This is great Clarity. It's next best to being right there with you through this wonderful adventure. Brings back memories of my being pregnant. I, too, could hardly stand the smells and had to come home and crawl into bed the first three months.
ReplyDeleteBut the flowers were so beautiful that year. I think I was seeing them through astral eyes.
Idea: Our bathtub is big and wide and by the time the hot water runs out the water is only three inches deep. Not satisfying! I had an idea and bought a big 2 foot by 3 foot plastic storage bin at Home Depot and it works great. I can totally submerge, with knees bent of course, but it's quite comfortable. It's one advantage of having a little body. And it's light so it can be kept elsewhere from the bathroom. At some point your tummy would get in the way laying down with knees bent but you could still sit in it.
Am sending you lots of love, dear one. Trimester 2 is much more fun. Energy comes back and bliss of baby's soul apparent.
love you lots,
Mantradevi
P.S. Hi to all you best ladies! So many fond memories of our time together.